Take a Deep Breath & Relax

I was on the way back from work one day and I stopped to admire the beautiful sunset. While attempting to capture a nice shot of (what I thought was) a scenic view, I attracted quite a bit of attention from several passerby who were on their way home from work.

I have to admit that this isn't the most beautiful or desirable sunset. However, it's not the picture itself that determined the beautiful scene, it was the frame of mind I was in. I suddenly stopped walking at a place and time when everyone was rushing to and fro. At that instant, I wondered why was I rushing, for whom am I rushing and what am I rushing for? This phrase came to my mind “整天忙忙碌碌，为的是什么？”

Sometimes, you just need to slow down your steps a little, take a deep breath and enjoy the scene around you. Only then will you appreciate the goodness around you. That's what life is all about.

Hooked on Antibiotics

My body's hooked on antibiotics. It's so reliant on antibiotics that each time I'm off it, I tend to fall ill. I usually tolerate my illnesses if they are minor and put off seeing a doctor until I cannot resist the pain/agony/sufferings of the illnesses.

I realised that I've been on and off antibiotics since I contracted bronchitis. It's been 2 years and within this period of time, I do not remember not consuming antibiotics for more than two months. It really makes me wonder if doctors are prescribing it too easily, or is my sickness really that bad (each time I fall ill) that antibiotics have to be prescribed.

That really makes me wonder every prescription of antibiotics is mandatory. I remember reading that people who live in the suburbs overseas (like USA) do not have easy access to clinics and hospital. They usually have to drive an hour or so to the hospital before they can see a doctor, thus most people self medicate when they fall ill and/or visit the drugstore (pharmacy) if they run out of medical supplies. They only see the doctor when they are seriously ill and/or if they do not recover after a prolong period of time. Since antibiotics requires a doctor's prescription in most (if not all) states, most people do not consume antibiotics unless it's absolutely necessary. [It can be read here how an expatriate parent worries about his/her young child being fed too much antibiotics.]

I remember reading an article which commented on our local doctors over-prescribing antibiotics. I do agree that antibiotics should be prescribed when needed, however I personally feel that antibiotics should not be prescribed as a preventive measure for other 'potential' bacteria infection.

I can't remember where I read it or who was it written by but I did a simple search online and found several articles that supported the one which I read previously. One of it is even released by SMA (Singapore Medical Association). The article can be read here.

I usually avoid consuming antibiotics when I'm running a fever without infection. (I recognised signs of infection when I start coughing phelgm or sneezing mucus that is yellowish green. However, these are relatively obvious symptoms. There are certain infection that does not display visible symptoms.) At times, I even avoid taking paracetamol or other forms of fever reducers as long as I do not feel extremely uncomfortable (like bad migraines and bad aches in joints) and that my body temperature maintains below 38 degrees. The main reason being, running fever (not high fever) has certain benefits to our health too. Read here for more information.

Thus, the next time when you fall ill, you have got to think twice before swallowing those pills.

Note: Please do not quote me whatever I have mentioned earlier in this post as I'm no medical expert.



----------------------------------------

Anyway, you wouldn't believe it. I am sick again. Remember very bad eczema outbreak? It got better after I took a course of antibiotics but the moment I stop it, it started flaring again. Now, it seems to be worse than before. My skin around is practically oozing pus and other who-knows-what-fluid. It's so bad that the moment I apply pressure/force to my fingers, it hurts. I cannot even tap my finger nails lightly because there's a layer of pus between my nails and my flesh, causing it to hurt a lot, so much that I almost screamed.

I visited the dermatologist this afternoon and he has swab the pus before sending it to a laboratory. Identifying the bacteria and checking out which antibiotics it reacts best to are essential for drafting the treatment plan. Meanwhile, I'm given loads of antibiotics, steroids and antihistamine which I am pretty reluctant to take but do I have a choice given the current situation I am in? Not likely, especially when I am running a fever now.

Living with Eczema

I've been a 'victim' of eczema since 3 years of age and that has changed my life since. Back then, eczema was almost unheard of and my (paternal) relatives, especially my grandmother started blaming my mother for poor upbringing and/or 'passing bad genes' to me. They did nothing to help ease our sufferings (my eczema and my mum's guilt).

Those ignorant relatives of mine will insist that my mum bathes me several times a day, citing the hot weather after which, loads of talcum powder will be dusted on me. Little did they know that bathing excessively will cause my skin condition to worsen. In fact, the doctor recommends that I bath only once a day. As for talcum powder, it causes allergy reactions like rashes (part of eczema), asthma and rhinitis which often develops into sinusitis (conditions which they blame my mum as well).

My mum felt guilty and responsible for my plight, she brought me to various doctors all over the island, from traditional chinese medicine to western medicine, even traveling up north to Malaysia on train. After tonnes of awful, smelly, yucky, disgusting herbs and chemicals, I never was cured. Eczema, like many conditions can only be controlled and not cured.

Growing up with eczema was the most miserable thing ever. I was alone most of the time. Classmates and friends shunned me. Some meanies even mocked at me and got the rest to 'laugh' at me. Even my form teacher said "You didn't use to be like that!" She later spoke to my mother about it.

By then, my condition has worsened. I felt like a snake (honestly). My skin started peeling endlessly, from head to toe. Big pieces/chunks of dried skin dangles at the tip of my 'newly-grown' skin. (My classmates were so disgusted, they forbade me to turn my head for fear of my dry skin 'landing' on them, spreading some incurable disease.) There was once it became so bad that I could not even open my eyes. I started to detest looking in the mirror.

I remember some doctors commenting that the condition of my skin may improve after I reach puberty as a result of hormonal changes. I truly look forward to it. I couldn't wait for the 'so-called' puberty, even though I did not have an inkling idea of what it was.

When I contracted chicken pox at age 11, I was ecstatic. I was hoping it will have the same effect as 'puberty' would. I thought to myself "Well, since chicken pox is like a massive outbreak of rashes, maybe all the rashes that I was meant to suffer from will just affect me for two weeks and i'll be free from rashes/eczema!"

I was half correct. My condition of eczema improved. The outbreak of rashes wasn't as serious as before. Even if it was, I always had ways to cover it up. Thus, most of my friends were surprised when I told them that I have a skin condition. Some of them even look at me in disbelief when I told them so.

All until last week.

My hands (fingers especially) have been the 'latest victims' of eczema. For the past two years or so, my hands always have rashes with open wounds. Once in a while, my skin will heal from those wounds or rashes but each time I touch an allergen, it'll act up all over again.

Last Saturday, I realised that I could not bend my fingers and when I tried touching them, they felt like small little bumps. Thinking that it would be gone soon, I ignored it. A few hours later, I realised that I could not even unbuckle my seat belt. Anything that requires strength or force hurts greatly. Then, I took a good look at my fingers and I finally realised why.

My fingers were swollen (each finger is 30% larger than usual) and filled with pus and blisters. So many I lost count of them. They were too painful to touch. When the blisters burst, they will start sticking things like fibre, fur, hair, dust, dirt on my wound, which will only make it more susceptible to infection. I had to have them wrapped up. Even then, so much fluid and pus that came out of the blisters i had to keep changing my bandage. Removing the bandage was the worse part as the gauze would have stuck onto my skin and it requires a little effort to 'tear/pull' it off. At that instant, I felt as though I had a third-degree burnt on my hands.

Since then, I was almost like a handicap. Touching water caused great pain, not to mention soap and that means that I could not bathe for myself. I am thankful that my youngest sister helped me bathe yesterday and my mum help me bathe today. Though it sounds embarassing but I was fine with it. In fact, I was a little on the happy side. It's not often you get to have such moments and half the time, we were laughing away in the bath. (Maybe I should be thankful for falling ill. It's no wonder the chinese says 'xiao bing shi fu'.)

Right now, my skin still hurts from the pus filled blisters but at least the condition is improving. At least I get to blog this post (using only two fingers instead of the usual ten and spending almost two and a half hour doing so) when I had difficulties clickinf the mouse 2 days ago.

The doctor estimated that with medication, I will take approximately 5 days to recover. However, I think I will be seeing my family doctor tomorrow (my family doctor does not work on Sunday) as I think I am allergic to the antibiotics prescribed by the doctor yesterday. Moreover, my fever has yet to subside since Saturday.

Hope with the help of my family doctor, I'll heal/recover faster. At least he's familiar with my condition for I've been seeing him for some 10 years or so.

Meanwhile, I won't be blogging until I fully recover as it's too much a challenge for me to do so with my current condition. Don't miss me too much ya~