Living with Eczema

I've been a 'victim' of eczema since 3 years of age and that has changed my life since. Back then, eczema was almost unheard of and my (paternal) relatives, especially my grandmother started blaming my mother for poor upbringing and/or 'passing bad genes' to me. They did nothing to help ease our sufferings (my eczema and my mum's guilt).

Those ignorant relatives of mine will insist that my mum bathes me several times a day, citing the hot weather after which, loads of talcum powder will be dusted on me. Little did they know that bathing excessively will cause my skin condition to worsen. In fact, the doctor recommends that I bath only once a day. As for talcum powder, it causes allergy reactions like rashes (part of eczema), asthma and rhinitis which often develops into sinusitis (conditions which they blame my mum as well).

My mum felt guilty and responsible for my plight, she brought me to various doctors all over the island, from traditional chinese medicine to western medicine, even traveling up north to Malaysia on train. After tonnes of awful, smelly, yucky, disgusting herbs and chemicals, I never was cured. Eczema, like many conditions can only be controlled and not cured.

Growing up with eczema was the most miserable thing ever. I was alone most of the time. Classmates and friends shunned me. Some meanies even mocked at me and got the rest to 'laugh' at me. Even my form teacher said "You didn't use to be like that!" She later spoke to my mother about it.

By then, my condition has worsened. I felt like a snake (honestly). My skin started peeling endlessly, from head to toe. Big pieces/chunks of dried skin dangles at the tip of my 'newly-grown' skin. (My classmates were so disgusted, they forbade me to turn my head for fear of my dry skin 'landing' on them, spreading some incurable disease.) There was once it became so bad that I could not even open my eyes. I started to detest looking in the mirror.

I remember some doctors commenting that the condition of my skin may improve after I reach puberty as a result of hormonal changes. I truly look forward to it. I couldn't wait for the 'so-called' puberty, even though I did not have an inkling idea of what it was.

When I contracted chicken pox at age 11, I was ecstatic. I was hoping it will have the same effect as 'puberty' would. I thought to myself "Well, since chicken pox is like a massive outbreak of rashes, maybe all the rashes that I was meant to suffer from will just affect me for two weeks and i'll be free from rashes/eczema!"

I was half correct. My condition of eczema improved. The outbreak of rashes wasn't as serious as before. Even if it was, I always had ways to cover it up. Thus, most of my friends were surprised when I told them that I have a skin condition. Some of them even look at me in disbelief when I told them so.

All until last week.

My hands (fingers especially) have been the 'latest victims' of eczema. For the past two years or so, my hands always have rashes with open wounds. Once in a while, my skin will heal from those wounds or rashes but each time I touch an allergen, it'll act up all over again.

Last Saturday, I realised that I could not bend my fingers and when I tried touching them, they felt like small little bumps. Thinking that it would be gone soon, I ignored it. A few hours later, I realised that I could not even unbuckle my seat belt. Anything that requires strength or force hurts greatly. Then, I took a good look at my fingers and I finally realised why.

My fingers were swollen (each finger is 30% larger than usual) and filled with pus and blisters. So many I lost count of them. They were too painful to touch. When the blisters burst, they will start sticking things like fibre, fur, hair, dust, dirt on my wound, which will only make it more susceptible to infection. I had to have them wrapped up. Even then, so much fluid and pus that came out of the blisters i had to keep changing my bandage. Removing the bandage was the worse part as the gauze would have stuck onto my skin and it requires a little effort to 'tear/pull' it off. At that instant, I felt as though I had a third-degree burnt on my hands.

Since then, I was almost like a handicap. Touching water caused great pain, not to mention soap and that means that I could not bathe for myself. I am thankful that my youngest sister helped me bathe yesterday and my mum help me bathe today. Though it sounds embarassing but I was fine with it. In fact, I was a little on the happy side. It's not often you get to have such moments and half the time, we were laughing away in the bath. (Maybe I should be thankful for falling ill. It's no wonder the chinese says 'xiao bing shi fu'.)

Right now, my skin still hurts from the pus filled blisters but at least the condition is improving. At least I get to blog this post (using only two fingers instead of the usual ten and spending almost two and a half hour doing so) when I had difficulties clickinf the mouse 2 days ago.

The doctor estimated that with medication, I will take approximately 5 days to recover. However, I think I will be seeing my family doctor tomorrow (my family doctor does not work on Sunday) as I think I am allergic to the antibiotics prescribed by the doctor yesterday. Moreover, my fever has yet to subside since Saturday.

Hope with the help of my family doctor, I'll heal/recover faster. At least he's familiar with my condition for I've been seeing him for some 10 years or so.

Meanwhile, I won't be blogging until I fully recover as it's too much a challenge for me to do so with my current condition. Don't miss me too much ya~