Friday, January 28, 2011
I dreamt of a Fun House!
I dozed off while watching hongkong drama serial on my laptop. The setting of my dream was in my granny's place and as I walked out to the hall, the television was playing "Funhouse". After I woke up from my dream, this song keeps playing in my head non-stop, like on auto-replay. Even when someone talks to me, the song continues to 'play' in the background. The weirdest thing is I don't listen to this song often and I don't remember watching the mtv, so why does it keep playing in my head
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Feeling Down
I've got this sudden wave of depression. No idea what I'm feeling upset over either. Something's bothering me and I have on idea what it is. I just know that I'm feeling a great sense of discomfort and no, it's not the time of the month so it's not the hormones.
And I have to drive with this 'depressed' feeling all the way to the east. Drove to Changi airport last weekend, driving there again later and going there again tomorrow. What is this man!?!?!?!
I can't imagine how am I gonna do all the socialising today and tomorrow with this depressed mood. Good luck to me!
And I have to drive with this 'depressed' feeling all the way to the east. Drove to Changi airport last weekend, driving there again later and going there again tomorrow. What is this man!?!?!?!
I can't imagine how am I gonna do all the socialising today and tomorrow with this depressed mood. Good luck to me!
Friday, January 21, 2011
Multiple Updates: Feelings & Memories
I'm too tired today to blog the prim and proper way. Shall just randomly rattle on what flashes across my mind, how I'm feeling and maybe what had happened in the past few days, for memory safekeeping sake.
Catching Up w Good Ol' Friends
Glad to catch up with two of my friends who saw me through my toughest days in poly. All was good, except for the chosen location. We entered this Japanese restuarant that smelled of toilet. Not just normal toilets, but toilet that still smell after cleaning. Think ammonia + bleach + cheap toilet fragrance. It smelled so bad I felt nausea the moment I entered. R told me to put up with the smell as I'd get used to it after a while. Moreover, it's a small price to pay in exchange for value-for-money-japanese-food. Indeed, the meal was quite worthy.
A meal of sushi + sashimi + chawanmushi + small dishes + green tea + GST + service charge < $38 = 3 full individuals. Tried 贡茶as well. It taste nice in a different way. I've no idea how to describe it. You've gotta taste for yourself. However, I still prefer KOI. On a random note, I really like this yam/taro bubble milk tea my friend made in aussie but I just can't seem to find any bubble tea shops in Singapore that can recreate the same taste.
---------------------------
Love & Other Drugs
I was purchasing the tickets for "Love and other drugs" when the cashier said "I will like to remind you that this show is categorised as M18. Kindly ensure that all of you are above 18 in order to watch this show." Even though I was rather expressionless when I replied "Yah, all of us are above 18", I was secretly smiling inside. Senescence is an irreversible process, naturally I took that as a compliment.
As usual, I was late for the movie. I pretty much like the show but thought they should rename it "Sex and other drugs".
---------------------------
Chemistry? Maybe not.
Sometimes it gets a little annoying when someone just rattles non-stop at your ear when all you want is a moment of peace. The worse thing is the other party keeps saying nonsensical/lame stuff and you have to match up to him/her when you are in a 'serious/thinking' mode. It's either I have high EQ or I have very good acting skills or I am hypocritical by nature; people always think we share a good level of chemistry when in reality, I rarely share my innermost thoughts and keep I don't feel the way you think I do. How can we possibly click when you can't even read my mood!
That reminds me of some mess I have to clear when I get back to aussie. Sighs.
---------------------------
20/01/11 Thursday
To Stay or To Go
Almost couldn't wake up on time today because I spent the entire night chatting online and trying to book air tickets back to aussie. SIA website was such a letdown; tried booking tickets in the morning but the website just refuses to work.
I was (and still am) such a procrastinator; I was supposed to book the air tickets a month ago, together with some of my friends. However, I dragged till this very month. Like the previous time, I have mixed feelings of going to Australia. I want yet do not really want to return to joey land. It's hard to explain that kinda feeling.
My best guess is probably because I'm leaving too much behind. Maybe, if I can bring all my loved ones with me, things might be different. Anyone keen in visiting me in Canberra (or any parts of aussie)? Everyone of you whom I know in reality and who reads my blog is invited because you people are really important to me. Not everyone knows I blog on the sly. If you do, you are one of the privileged few! Come visit me if possible, alright?
---------------------------
Across the Causeway
I finally crossed the causeway to explore Johor Bahru (JB). Even though I visit Malaysia several times a year, I rarely go to JB via Woodlands, thus I was quite shocked to find out that the Malaysia (JB) custom has upgraded since two years ago! The entire place looks quite impressive and is way cleaner and better than the previous one. It's the first time I took a bus to JB and I did it by myself. I amazed myself by being able to cross the causeway without getting lost. Haha.
However, there were some hiccups along the way. I was held up at the Singapore customs for quite some time because the stupid scanner doesn't recognise my thumb print as I have very mild symptoms of eczema on my skin - so mild that I can't see it if I don't squint my eyes. After a good 30 attempt at scanning both my left and right thumb, the custom officer asked if I had my IC with me. Being a muddlehead, I will naturally choose not to bring my IC as there's a good chance I will lose it (imagine losing both IC and passport. I'm as good as an illegal immigrant!). I offered the custom officer my driver's license instead. After discussing with her superior, she decided to let me off. Sighs. I didn't choose to have eczema ok!
Anyway, I'm very thankful for my friends who met me at the M'sia customs. I guess they must have felt as though they brought a mountain turtle out. Wherever I went, I kept looking around and/or out of windows. No, I didn't do that because I was bored or daydreaming. I was sightseeing and observing. I didn't mention it at that very point in time cause I would have sounded really really sua ku. Hahas. Anyway, I really did enjoy myself today so don't worry.
Best of all? I had my A&W. Though it's A&W's breakfast that I miss, I'm not complaining because having the root beer float is enough to make my day. Thankew very much for the trouble to travel just for the sake of A&W.
*Deeply Appreciated by Yours Truly*
On a random note, I kept mentioning Causeway Bay instead of Causeway. Can you tell how much I'm dying to go Hongkong? =(
---------------------------
Dead Beat
I'm very exhausted because I have been doing lots of household chores for the past 2 weeks and the load has increased intensively for the past few days mainly because my tolerance for mess has gone down tremendously and expecations of cleanliness has increased by a notch.
Just last night, I sort out and washed 3 batches of clothes. That's not easy when you are dealing with several huge piles of clothes contributed by 5 people over a period of time. I could have been more efficient if not for the wet weather. High humidity level + rain + lack of sunshine = damp clothes. That means that I have to air the clothes longer than before. Not forgetting there are bedsheets, pillow/bolster cases and blankets to deal with!
On top of that I also packed a huge part of the kitchen today, clearing old and spoilt food/sauces/herbs/whatever. Bought new shelves and tablecloth. Gave the walls and table a good scrub before rearranging the remaining stuff. I had wanted to clean the rest of the kitchen but was too tired to do so, especially after the JB trip, not forgetting the lack fo sleep from the previous night. Shall continue again tomorrow
My friend, N, mentioned that I probably have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). Oh well, I highly doubt so but then again, maybe I do? Hahas. Life in Australia has changed me greatly.
On hindsight, I started sorting out my belongings and threw away things that I used to refused to get rid of, such as old books and magazines. In the midst of it, I started thinking of how I used to insist on keeping them despite being psychoed/persuaded/coaxed to 'throw rubbish away'. Memories.
Anyway, I found a lot of letters, cards and postcards from different people. I re-read before sorting them out for safekeeping. Reading those hand-written well-wishes and innermost thoughts/feelings brought both smiles and tears. Many brought back memories of the time I used to spend with the person (who wrote those letters/cards/postcards).
Memories.
---------------------------
Oei, Not Sleeping ah?
Yeah man! After looking at the time I submit this post you must be wondering why the heck I am blogging at this unearthly hour. No, I'm not having insomia from caffeine overdose this time round.
I'm awake because I'm having gastric discomfort. Honestly, I've no idea what's wrong. I was feeling very hungry before dinner time but halfway through dinner, my gastric hurt so much I had to force myself to finish the entire bowl of instant noodles (I know it's not the best food around but I was craving very badly for myojo mee. In aussie, myojo is only available in asian grocery stores and the prices are really steep). After dinner, I remain seated for the next half an hour because my gastric hurts.
Even though my gastric continued to hurt, I decided to ignore the pain and continued with my household chores. I didn't want to be crippled by the pain. Who knows, two hours later I had gastric reflux. I almost threw up but I didn't. That feeling sucks.
Subsequently, I started having both gastric pains and stomach cramps. The pain and cramp continued till now. I'd better recover by tomorrow afternoon, if not I have to go out with all that pain and discomfort. *pray hard*
Good night world! Then again, it's morning.
---------------------------
19/01/11 WednesdayCatching Up w Good Ol' Friends
Glad to catch up with two of my friends who saw me through my toughest days in poly. All was good, except for the chosen location. We entered this Japanese restuarant that smelled of toilet. Not just normal toilets, but toilet that still smell after cleaning. Think ammonia + bleach + cheap toilet fragrance. It smelled so bad I felt nausea the moment I entered. R told me to put up with the smell as I'd get used to it after a while. Moreover, it's a small price to pay in exchange for value-for-money-japanese-food. Indeed, the meal was quite worthy.
A meal of sushi + sashimi + chawanmushi + small dishes + green tea + GST + service charge < $38 = 3 full individuals. Tried 贡茶as well. It taste nice in a different way. I've no idea how to describe it. You've gotta taste for yourself. However, I still prefer KOI. On a random note, I really like this yam/taro bubble milk tea my friend made in aussie but I just can't seem to find any bubble tea shops in Singapore that can recreate the same taste.
---------------------------
Love & Other Drugs
I was purchasing the tickets for "Love and other drugs" when the cashier said "I will like to remind you that this show is categorised as M18. Kindly ensure that all of you are above 18 in order to watch this show." Even though I was rather expressionless when I replied "Yah, all of us are above 18", I was secretly smiling inside. Senescence is an irreversible process, naturally I took that as a compliment.
As usual, I was late for the movie. I pretty much like the show but thought they should rename it "Sex and other drugs".
---------------------------
Chemistry? Maybe not.
Sometimes it gets a little annoying when someone just rattles non-stop at your ear when all you want is a moment of peace. The worse thing is the other party keeps saying nonsensical/lame stuff and you have to match up to him/her when you are in a 'serious/thinking' mode. It's either I have high EQ or I have very good acting skills or I am hypocritical by nature; people always think we share a good level of chemistry when in reality, I rarely share my innermost thoughts and keep I don't feel the way you think I do. How can we possibly click when you can't even read my mood!
That reminds me of some mess I have to clear when I get back to aussie. Sighs.
---------------------------
20/01/11 Thursday
To Stay or To Go
Almost couldn't wake up on time today because I spent the entire night chatting online and trying to book air tickets back to aussie. SIA website was such a letdown; tried booking tickets in the morning but the website just refuses to work.
I was (and still am) such a procrastinator; I was supposed to book the air tickets a month ago, together with some of my friends. However, I dragged till this very month. Like the previous time, I have mixed feelings of going to Australia. I want yet do not really want to return to joey land. It's hard to explain that kinda feeling.
My best guess is probably because I'm leaving too much behind. Maybe, if I can bring all my loved ones with me, things might be different. Anyone keen in visiting me in Canberra (or any parts of aussie)? Everyone of you whom I know in reality and who reads my blog is invited because you people are really important to me. Not everyone knows I blog on the sly. If you do, you are one of the privileged few! Come visit me if possible, alright?
---------------------------
Across the Causeway
I finally crossed the causeway to explore Johor Bahru (JB). Even though I visit Malaysia several times a year, I rarely go to JB via Woodlands, thus I was quite shocked to find out that the Malaysia (JB) custom has upgraded since two years ago! The entire place looks quite impressive and is way cleaner and better than the previous one. It's the first time I took a bus to JB and I did it by myself. I amazed myself by being able to cross the causeway without getting lost. Haha.
However, there were some hiccups along the way. I was held up at the Singapore customs for quite some time because the stupid scanner doesn't recognise my thumb print as I have very mild symptoms of eczema on my skin - so mild that I can't see it if I don't squint my eyes. After a good 30 attempt at scanning both my left and right thumb, the custom officer asked if I had my IC with me. Being a muddlehead, I will naturally choose not to bring my IC as there's a good chance I will lose it (imagine losing both IC and passport. I'm as good as an illegal immigrant!). I offered the custom officer my driver's license instead. After discussing with her superior, she decided to let me off. Sighs. I didn't choose to have eczema ok!
Anyway, I'm very thankful for my friends who met me at the M'sia customs. I guess they must have felt as though they brought a mountain turtle out. Wherever I went, I kept looking around and/or out of windows. No, I didn't do that because I was bored or daydreaming. I was sightseeing and observing. I didn't mention it at that very point in time cause I would have sounded really really sua ku. Hahas. Anyway, I really did enjoy myself today so don't worry.
Best of all? I had my A&W. Though it's A&W's breakfast that I miss, I'm not complaining because having the root beer float is enough to make my day. Thankew very much for the trouble to travel just for the sake of A&W.
*Deeply Appreciated by Yours Truly*
On a random note, I kept mentioning Causeway Bay instead of Causeway. Can you tell how much I'm dying to go Hongkong? =(
---------------------------
Dead Beat
I'm very exhausted because I have been doing lots of household chores for the past 2 weeks and the load has increased intensively for the past few days mainly because my tolerance for mess has gone down tremendously and expecations of cleanliness has increased by a notch.
Just last night, I sort out and washed 3 batches of clothes. That's not easy when you are dealing with several huge piles of clothes contributed by 5 people over a period of time. I could have been more efficient if not for the wet weather. High humidity level + rain + lack of sunshine = damp clothes. That means that I have to air the clothes longer than before. Not forgetting there are bedsheets, pillow/bolster cases and blankets to deal with!
On top of that I also packed a huge part of the kitchen today, clearing old and spoilt food/sauces/herbs/whatever. Bought new shelves and tablecloth. Gave the walls and table a good scrub before rearranging the remaining stuff. I had wanted to clean the rest of the kitchen but was too tired to do so, especially after the JB trip, not forgetting the lack fo sleep from the previous night. Shall continue again tomorrow
My friend, N, mentioned that I probably have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). Oh well, I highly doubt so but then again, maybe I do? Hahas. Life in Australia has changed me greatly.
On hindsight, I started sorting out my belongings and threw away things that I used to refused to get rid of, such as old books and magazines. In the midst of it, I started thinking of how I used to insist on keeping them despite being psychoed/persuaded/coaxed to 'throw rubbish away'. Memories.
Anyway, I found a lot of letters, cards and postcards from different people. I re-read before sorting them out for safekeeping. Reading those hand-written well-wishes and innermost thoughts/feelings brought both smiles and tears. Many brought back memories of the time I used to spend with the person (who wrote those letters/cards/postcards).
Memories.
---------------------------
Oei, Not Sleeping ah?
Yeah man! After looking at the time I submit this post you must be wondering why the heck I am blogging at this unearthly hour. No, I'm not having insomia from caffeine overdose this time round.
I'm awake because I'm having gastric discomfort. Honestly, I've no idea what's wrong. I was feeling very hungry before dinner time but halfway through dinner, my gastric hurt so much I had to force myself to finish the entire bowl of instant noodles (I know it's not the best food around but I was craving very badly for myojo mee. In aussie, myojo is only available in asian grocery stores and the prices are really steep). After dinner, I remain seated for the next half an hour because my gastric hurts.
Even though my gastric continued to hurt, I decided to ignore the pain and continued with my household chores. I didn't want to be crippled by the pain. Who knows, two hours later I had gastric reflux. I almost threw up but I didn't. That feeling sucks.
Subsequently, I started having both gastric pains and stomach cramps. The pain and cramp continued till now. I'd better recover by tomorrow afternoon, if not I have to go out with all that pain and discomfort. *pray hard*
Good night world! Then again, it's morning.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Have to or want to
In life, there are many a time we do things simply because we have to. However, most of the time these are not things that we want to do.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Dolly Face
Last evening, someone complimented that I look like a doll, especially with my big eyes. Now that I'm not looking as pale as before, my lips and cheeks are much rosier. I was soooooooo flattered. Then a sudden thought came to my mind and I blurted out "yeahs, a fat doll!"
Monday, January 17, 2011
Thankful
The last week was filled with hiccups but I am thankful for friends who randomly/suddenly appeared in my life, spending time with me and giving me the support I very much need to tide me through this bleak period. These are friends who I rarely talk to and contact on a regular basis yet they turn up in my life when I needed them most.
One of them even spent 2 continuous days with me, talking about the same issue again and again until I finally sort out my thoughts. I can't be more thankful for this friend.
Of course, I am glad that I have since overcome the darkest time in my life (at this very moment).
And I thank lord for a lot to be thankful about.
I hope you feel the same way too.
One of them even spent 2 continuous days with me, talking about the same issue again and again until I finally sort out my thoughts. I can't be more thankful for this friend.
Of course, I am glad that I have since overcome the darkest time in my life (at this very moment).
And I thank lord for a lot to be thankful about.
I hope you feel the same way too.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Nice Dream
I had a nice, wonderful, sweet dream and I found myself partially smiling when I woke up. Darn, why must the person press the doorbell and disrupt my happy dream???
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Same but Different
On this very day, I went back to this particular place which I used to frequent pretty often in the past. It is nice to trace back old routes; to stroll the same pavement I used to rush through hurriedly, to listen to the melody orchestrated by the same frogs I used to feel irritated with, to immerse myself in that moment of peace I never used to appreciate. Same time, same place, same scene but totally different feeling.
I used to dislike going to that place because I found it too 'ulu' (inaccessible) but right now, I'm willing to travel all the way there just to sit down for a nice chat, enjoy the cold breeze while trying to find solace in the quietness.
Indeed, I did find peace over there last night. I left that place feeling so happy and peaceful, I found myself smiling in the rear mirror (of the car) even though I lost my way home.
I used to dislike going to that place because I found it too 'ulu' (inaccessible) but right now, I'm willing to travel all the way there just to sit down for a nice chat, enjoy the cold breeze while trying to find solace in the quietness.
Indeed, I did find peace over there last night. I left that place feeling so happy and peaceful, I found myself smiling in the rear mirror (of the car) even though I lost my way home.
Monday, January 10, 2011
阴天
从澳洲回返新加坡已经快一个半月了。这么多天以来，天气总是阴阴的。每天不是乌云密布，就是倾盆大雨。虽然新加坡属于热带国家，却没有试过一天是阳光普照的。一向喜欢雨天的我，在还没出过留学之前，都不怎么喜欢艳阳高照的感觉。不是嫌光线太刺眼，就是怕晒了太多太阳很容易长黑斑之类的皮肤‘问题’。女孩子嘛，总是比较爱美的。
但是每天望着阴霾的天空，心情总是忧郁的，胸口也觉得闷闷的，怎么都开心不起来。可能天气真的会影响一个人的情绪，甚至会影响一个人的思绪。近来，我发觉自己比以前发更多呆，常常胡思乱想，也因此更情绪化。
驾着车子或弹着钢琴时，我发觉泪水不由自主的流了出来。吃着饭时，眉毛不知觉的邹了起来，而漫无目的走着路时却发觉自己在傻笑。性情和心情都大起大落的我，究竟是怎么搞的呢？
但是每天望着阴霾的天空，心情总是忧郁的，胸口也觉得闷闷的，怎么都开心不起来。可能天气真的会影响一个人的情绪，甚至会影响一个人的思绪。近来，我发觉自己比以前发更多呆，常常胡思乱想，也因此更情绪化。
驾着车子或弹着钢琴时，我发觉泪水不由自主的流了出来。吃着饭时，眉毛不知觉的邹了起来，而漫无目的走着路时却发觉自己在傻笑。性情和心情都大起大落的我，究竟是怎么搞的呢？
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Prayers Answered
Tears couldn't stop flowing as I played this song on the piano last evening. Scenes from past memories kept appearing in my mind. I continued to play the piano till my clothes were soaked with tears, only then did I walked to the bathroom to wash up. While in the toilet, I prayed in tears; Since I was feeling extremely lost and down, I prayed for God to guide me through this dark period of time with his wisdom, to allow me to be strong and to feel better emotionally.
He heard my prayer.
A few hours later, something I hadn't expected happened. It came to me as a pleasant surprise. Even though I'm still pretty lost, I'm feeling much better emotionally. At least I'm able to sit down calmly to sort out my thoughts and work my way out of the situation.
Thank you for answering my prayers.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Regrets
Not too long ago, a friend asked me if history were to repeat itself, would I make the same decision and I replied yes, even though I deeply regretted (and still am regretting). Given the same circumstance, being in the same situation and feeling the same emotions, I would have made the exact same decision. I knew my risks and stakes then but I still decided to go ahead with it and in the end I lost that bet. I lost more than I thought I would.
If I were given a second chance now, I will do things differently to make up for the past, redeem myself and make things better for the future. Oh well, it may be too late for regrets but I guess it's better to be late than never.
There's no one I can blame except for myself. My stubborness, pride, curiousity and impulsiveness have done me in.
I've been praying about this matter before things even turned out this way. I guess God could be trying to tell me something through these signs but I secretly hope that I'm reading these signs wrongly.
原来哭不是最难受的。最难受的是想哭却哭不出的感觉。
If I were given a second chance now, I will do things differently to make up for the past, redeem myself and make things better for the future. Oh well, it may be too late for regrets but I guess it's better to be late than never.
There's no one I can blame except for myself. My stubborness, pride, curiousity and impulsiveness have done me in.
I've been praying about this matter before things even turned out this way. I guess God could be trying to tell me something through these signs but I secretly hope that I'm reading these signs wrongly.
原来哭不是最难受的。最难受的是想哭却哭不出的感觉。
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