Regrets

Not too long ago, a friend asked me if history were to repeat itself, would I make the same decision and I replied yes, even though I deeply regretted (and still am regretting). Given the same circumstance, being in the same situation and feeling the same emotions, I would have made the exact same decision. I knew my risks and stakes then but I still decided to go ahead with it and in the end I lost that bet. I lost more than I thought I would.

If I were given a second chance now, I will do things differently to make up for the past, redeem myself and make things better for the future. Oh well, it may be too late for regrets but I guess it's better to be late than never.

There's no one I can blame except for myself. My stubborness, pride, curiousity and impulsiveness have done me in.

I've been praying about this matter before things even turned out this way. I guess God could be trying to tell me something through these signs but I secretly hope that I'm reading these signs wrongly.

原来哭不是最难受的。最难受的是想哭却哭不出的感觉。